Here is an interesting blog I read the other day. He actually started a series from that first one because he got so many readers and responses. He makes a lot of sense in some ways but there are few things I don’t agree with however. Either way, its pretty good.
I decided to attach both responses below:
The first one:
I agree that my husband married the wrong woman, by this world’s standards. But, by Heavenly Father’s standards we are exactly what we needed for each other (and Heavenly Father already knew this). The patience my husband has for me can only be given by the hand of Heavenly Father himself. I have learned and grown so much.
I don’t believe in the Hollywood fairytale romance; it’s a bunch of crap. Real life isn’t like that, not even close. They give us the idea that its great sex and chemistry that make a great relationship, WRONG! That is exactly why they don’t last. You cannot base it on sex (or the idea of great chemistry) because honestly, when you get tired of the same old thing, you start looking for something else. You have to have a strong foundation, but also the willingness to make it work.
Relationships last with first and foremost the Hand of Heavenly Father (picture a triangle; Heavenly Father at the top and husband and wife on either side). You have to center your relationship around Heavenly Father because he is the foundation, he is love. You have to center it around the idea of giving 100% of yourself. I don’t believe in 50/50 there is no such thing. Either you’re all in or you aren’t. Love is selfless, love is patient and long suffering. That is real love. Someone willing to ride that roller coaster with you, Come hell or high water they are still right by your side! They still love you. Is it easy? Not hardly, but this life wasn’t meant to be easy. With Heavenly Father though, all things are possible. That is why I don’t believe in Divorce, we were never meant to divorce.
Matthew 19: 3-9:
3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
Soul mate? I don’t agree with the world’s idea of that word or idea. I think it’s more like a person who is your best friend, a person that Heavenly Father brought into your life for you to cherish and to love. This fantasy of soul mate and finding the perfect person is just that, a fantasy. I bought into it and all I got in return was a big fat NOTHING. Any two people can be together and make it work if they have God’s foundation. It takes both people, not just one! BOTH people giving all of them self to the other person. Forgiveness is another very important factor and letting go.
It wasn’t until I quit looking that I found what was waiting for me. I got so caught up in that fantasy, I couldn’t see what Heavenly Father had for me. It wasn’t what I expected, nope. It was so much more. Heavenly Father let me experience real love. He loved me so much, he wanted to give me someone who would love me and that would guide and teach me. He sent my husband to me, but on the flip side, Heavenly Father knew that my husband needed me.
What he excels at I’m not very good and vice versa. We learn from each other and we complement each other. Most of all we have this unwavering trust and honesty. I love him with all my heart and the real beauty is — our marriage is forever and it was given by our Heavenly Father.
The second one in response to aubsP:
Very well said! It is our choice and it always has been. Do you hang in there and make it work or do you give up and quit? It’s not easy, but it’s all choice.
I think it’s a wonderful thing that you waited until you got married before you had the sexual intimacy (which that’s what we’re supposed to do anyway!). Your marriage was built on mutual love and respect, you had the foundation first and the rest came. That is what Heavenly Father intended for us. He blesses us and gives us these wonderful and special gifts to enjoy.
I’ve been married for almost 8 years (July 4, 2005). Heavenly Father brought him to me. He knew how much we needed each other. I have seen myself grow and change (I am a totally different person than I once was). He has blessed me and given me so many tender mercies. He has shown me what real love is and what it was always meant to be. He gave me my first time. Yes, we have ups and downs and by the worlds standards we would have been divorced a long time ago. We even spoke to 2 counselors and their response was unanimous. Your needs aren’t being met, DIVORCE. We decided that we weren’t going to take the easy way out that we loved each other and we would come through it together. Because not only did we promise each other, but we promised Heavenly Father. When we got married we entered into a covenant with him and each other. We chose to work through the problems all with Heavenly Father’s help.
That is another wonderful thing about our Heavenly Father; he knows us intimately, what we need — who we are. He selects people to enter our lives to build us and make us stronger and better people, if only we let him.
He is the ultimate love; you build him as your foundation. He will teach and show you a love like no other, but again it’s all choice!